since we moved here i have become alarmingly aware of our waste. when eating at the shopping center, my kids didn't finish their meals. the moment we put them in the trash, there were children who ran to dig our leftovers out of the garbage and then they proceeded to eat them. this has happened every time we've eaten in the plaza since. growing up i remember hearing things like, "don't waste your food, there are kids in africa who could use those leftovers." of course it was true, but it was a reality that seemed a world away. i was completely and totally unaffected by it. but now, when i scrape the uneaten food into the trash can, i can't help but think of the people who live down the road....literally, down the road.
when i bought hangers at the store for all of our clothes, the looks i received were embarrassing. it wasn't that many hangers by american standards, after all, there are six of us and we had very few hangers to hang everything we owned on....and yet, i suddenly felt ridiculous.
everything i do is normal. normal to me. normal to people where i'm from. in fact, i'm the frugal one. i'm the one who doesn't buy things i don't need. i have fewer shoes and clothes than almost every woman i know! almost everything i brought for griffin and ella were hand me downs...but when i look in their closet, it seems so over the top.
from the moment we moved in, there have been people coming to our house wanting a job. every day, several different people a day. we were told that the community expects us to hire people to work at our house.....that we would be seen as selfish and untrusting if we didn't, that it is providing people with a good job. but the thought of it seemed so foreign. of course people hire a cleaning service to come in once a week, or every other week, where i'm from...but every day? who am i that i can expect someone to come into my house and work for me? how is it that it is such a good job here? i look at these women and i am continually reminded that the only thing that separates me from them is where we were born. everyday i look at the gate in front of my house and i wonder, how was it determined which side of that gate that i would stand on? what determined that i would answer the intercom and not be ringing it?
i find myself with racing thoughts as to what i can do to help with hunger, HIV, kids who can't afford to go to school? it's all around me, it seems too big, i feel helpless, i feel overwhelmed....but this doesn't mean i do nothing. just because something is too big, it doesn't mean i do nothing. i pray for wisdom. i pray for creativity. i pray for ingenuity. i pray for strength.
6 comments:
What a thought-provoking post! And you're so right - those of us who were born in the US (even just regular old middle class folks) are so wealthy by the standards in your new home. I know that God will lead you how to respond in a way that will be pleasing to Him and to the people around you. Blessings.
I know the feeling. Thanks for reminding me.
Such an awesome post, Dezra. Thanks.
Hi My favorite Family! I miss you guys a lot. I believe anything you do will be a great help. Keep the Faith!! Good luck.. Tell everybody we said HELLO..
We are blinded by privilege. I have been broken by your very heart communicated here through a trip to the Dominican last summer. This is something that I can't get over either. It is very humbling to know it could be us, "but for the grace of God". I am traveling to Swaziland in October and I am don't know how I will handle the re-entry to our wasteful culture when I return.
For those who have not seen it lived out first hand, it may be somewhat oxymoron(ic) to suggest that this awareness is indeed a privilege to have - thank you sincerely for reminding me of how privileged i am ...
May God continue to richly bless you and your family ...
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