Meltdowns and Miracles...a Story in Faith

So, as of June 1st we are full time missionaries. From here on out, this is what we do for a living. This is what we do for a paycheck. This is how we pay our bills, eat, put clothes on these 4 kids....this is it! This is it.... Now I knew that we would be taking a significant pay cut. I was prepared for that. And then the first official check from AGWM came....it was even less than I thought...... and so I had myself a big meltdown. Really big. I ran the numbers, and they weren't good. It was not going to work. It wasn't even close to working. In my mind I'm arguing with God as to whether or not I can even go through with this. All the while realizing, well, what in the world else am I going to do? We came this far, we can't exactly bail now...or can we.... I thought.... Randy was calm. He kept saying, "Look at all God has already done. Look at all he has already provided!" He was annoyingly calm! It was really getting on my nerves. I needed someone to weap and gnash with for crying out loud. And I really was crying! But he wasn't budging. He would smile and say God will work it out. URGH it was really irritating me. In the middle of my revolt, I jumped on facebook. A friend of mine instant messaged me that she was having an issue with her teenage daughter. The daughter was basically throwing a fit b/c she wasn't getting her way. I prayed for my friend and for her daughter, and the conversation was over. A few minutes later the Holy Spirit called ME her daughter's name. He proceeded to tell me that I had been throwing a fit and that I was being childish. That God was my heavenly father and He had everything under control. I needed to stop acting ridiculous all because I wasn't getting my way. I began to cry. But this time it was for different reasons. I sobbed as I repented for not trusting God. I never ever want to do anything that limits my father's ability to take care of me. Not financially, not in any way. How could I put limits on what God can do?!?! How could I not trust Him? I never want to speak or act in such a way that God cannot provide for me because of my own lack of submission, my own lack of faith, my own bad attitude. This was on Friday.



Two days later we were itinerating at our very first official church. The worship was wonderful, the pastor and his wife so incredibly kind, and the people very friendly. We were really enjoying our visit. At the end of the service the pastor and the people prayed over us...prayers I can't imagine soon forgetting. He prayed many things that rang true in our hearts, but one thing he prayed that Randy and I have been praying for for a year now, was that we would be completely debt free when we left for the field. After church a lady came up and started talking to Randy. She asked him what debt we had. Randy told her that all we had was our student loan. She asked how much, and so he told her. She told us that she wanted to help us with that, and to call her the next day and let her know what pay off was on the loan. The check has been written, our first week into itineration we are debt free! This was an almost $20k miracle! God has it! He has it! We don't have to fret, we don't have to throw fits, we don't have to yell and scream and cry. He has it under control! We are so humbled at His generosity. God truly overwhelms us with how much He loves and cares for us.



We leave Saturday for missionary training in Springfield, MO. We will be gone for the rest of June and part of July. I'm not sure when I will be able to update the blog again, but please know. For those of you who are praying...THANK YOU! For those of you who are supporting us financially....THANK YOU! God is amazing, and He continues to do amazing things. Be blessed, we certainly are! :)